3 min read
1 book rec with 3 quotes
Toolbox – writing humor
Bergdorf eveningwear price in 2009!
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I like authors who make me laugh. Ann Leary’s essay collection, I’ve Tried Being Nice, reminds me of the person who imagines herself as nice.
The people pleaser avoids conflicts and wants to be all things to all people, so she is ultimately no one. Leary figures this out and the collection is a spoof* of sorts, on herself. Nice?
More like, Not-so-nice.
Does it take writing a book for Leary to figure this out? She writes scenes of her life and weaves them through with reflection and introspection, and a strong dose of humor.
Here are passages I tabbed. The first is about her father, figuring out his motivations for why he moves every couple years to a new state.
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(1) I googled “grass is always greener psychology” to find out if there’s a clinical name for what my father has, and it turns out that’s exactly what it’s called: “the grass is greener syndrome.” But according to the internet, this syndrome has more to do with people who have trouble committing to intimate relationships with other people. They meet an interesting new person and fantasize about how their life will be perfect with that person. If the person returns their love, there’s a short honeymoon phase when everyone is happy. But soon, Mr. Grass Greener starts to see flaws in Ms. Perfect. (States of Mind, p. 23)
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The second speaks for itself because as an alcoholic Leary knows of what she writes.
(2) How do you explain to a social drinker what it’s like to have been born three-drinks short of comfortable? You can’t. (Three-Drinks Short, p. 78)
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The third seems oddly relevant with the recent presidential inauguration and the fashion parade of notables glammed out head to toe. Leary’s humor is on display in the timing and repetition in the writing, especially the last words in the passage. Imagine the price tag in today’s dollars?!
Invited to the White House Correspondents’ Dinner during Obama’s first year in office, Leary visits department stores, stopping at Bergdorf’s eveningwear department.
(3) A coolly reserved, elegant saleswoman asked me what the occasion was, and when I told her, she showed me to a spacious dressing room and proceeded to bring me gowns and dresses designed by Valentino, Oscar de la Renta, and others. Oh, there were some beautiful gowns. I tried on a very slimming black dress; it was perfect. I glanced at the price tag. At first, I thought the price was fourteen thousand dollars, so I chuckled, fished my reading glasses from my purse, and then read the price again. It was fourteen thousand dollars. (Red-Carpet Diaries, p. 127)
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I disliked the author and her name-dropping in chapter one. In the next chapter, her honesty and humor grew on me, especially laughing at her expense. Here’s what I learned from Leary.
We lie to ourselves, whether it’s Leary’s idea of ‘being nice’ or some other not-so-appealing quality or habit. Funny to read her when it’s really us we are reading about: that is, how easy it is to see others and how hard it is to see ourselves.
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FOOTNOTES
*Leary’s collection is more than a spoof, though I did not fully realize the meaning of the title until reading the last essay which pokes fun at her nice-ness or lack of nice-ness, which she truly begins to learn from a friend. The work is an entertaining and thoughtful mid-life reflection, touching on weighty subjects such marriage and motherhood, and her battle with alcoholism.
**I love essays as a genre because reading them is as about as personal and intimate as history gets. The essay is often a primary source, a one-person account. Think of Montaigne’s Essays, or St. Augustine’s Confessions, or Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations.
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