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Solitude
1 Book rec and series
Buddhist sutra
Tool box: The music in prose
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Solitude and loneliness have been on my mind when this page came up in my reading.
SOLITUDE
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Being in solitude can help us relax. Solitude doesn’t mean being by ourselves or away from civilization. Real solitude means we’re not carried away by the crowd, by sorrows about the past, by worries about the future, or by strong emotions in the present. We don’t lose our stability and our peace. We take refuge in our mindful breathing and come back to the present moment, and to the island of peace within ourselves. We enjoy our time with others, but we don’t get lost in our interactions. Even in a busy marketplace, we can smile and breathe in peace, dwelling in the island of ourselves.
How to Relax by Thich Nhat Hanh, p. 55. (Parallax Press, 2015). The “monk who taught the world mindfulness” published a series of books on topics, such as How to Focus, How to Love, How to Listen, etc. . .
It’s easy to confuse solitude with loneliness.* The challenge is how to deal with the tedium, the boredom, the aloneness, whether that is the sense of being alone or actually being by ourselves.
Vietnamese monk Thich Nhat Hanh instructs the reader in this passsage in his trademark gentle and simple voice. It’s lovely to read and is deceptively simple, because he packs so much in these seven sentences and 106 words. There is music in the prose, especially when read aloud. He achieves his writing objective with maximum brevity.* This favorite teacher is no longer with us, though his hundreds of works live on, with some arguing that his teaching has reached nearly every single person on the planet.
For this Letter, this sutra if you will, I broke it down for reflection. And for those willing (and wise) who wish to go one step more, for practice.
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• Solitude helps us relax.
• Don’t let the crowd carry you away.
• Don’t be consumed by sorrows about the past.
• Don’t be consumed by worries about the future
• Don’t be consumed by strong emotions of the present.
• Don’t lose our stability and our peace.
• Take refuge in breathing and come back to the present moment.
• Come back to the island of peace within ourselves.
• Enjoy others but don’t be consumed by interactions.
• No matter where you are (even in a busy place), smile and breathe in peace.
• Dwell in the island of ourselves.
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Solitude helps me recharge and I crave it, at times, like water to a starving man. Hanh helps me understand this desire, this natural inclination to return to myself. Please don’t misunderstand. I take true joy in the company of others, but I am learning to simply BE with them, to be less worried with pleasing.
This is hard to do online and best to do in person. It is not so simple in a digital and virtual world, which is a reason why I write TreeHouseLetter, to connect in a meaningful way with others, with you.
What had me thinking about this recently are the young people in my family on the dating scene, where many are attending weddings, forming relationships, and making new friends.
That most essential of skills, of dealing with solitude, can be the cause of many problems because of a false reliance, such as the escape into alcohol, substance abuse, and unhealthy relationships.
This sutra helps us return to the peace of the self, and to let go of sorrows, worries, strong emotions. Finding that peace of self means freedom from anxiety. I have also found that useful interests and good habits transport me–what the Buddha calls right conduct–such as playing piano or going on a walk. Oddly, if I am mindful there is peace in doing chores too, such as laundry or putting the dishes away.
The book is part of a series and I picked up this volume on relaxation as a gift, but found it delightful counsel. So, I keep it on my nightstand. The breathing is especially helpful when waking from interrupted sleep with all manner of worries or ideas pinging around in my head. Or outside of it, as lately that has been flying squirrel, the intruder(s) in the attic. But that is a topic for another letter!
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FOOTNOTES
*Here are definitions from the Oxford English Dictionary, OED.com online entries.
solitude, n. The state of being or living alone; loneliness, seclusion, solitariness (of persons).
loneliness, n. The feeling of being alone; the sense of solitude; dejection arising from want of companionship or society.
sutra, n. A rule or aphorism in Sanksrit literature; (also) a set of such rules concerning grammar or Hindu law or philosophy, expessed with maximum brevity.
**On writing:
Love the final phrase of the definition on sutra especially: expressed with maximum brevity. Thich Nhat Hanh developed a lasting and beautiful writing style, which we can learn from by taking a moment to study the passage and the number of propositions made in such a short number of words. The little books feel wonderful in the hand and are easy to carry. Love love the sumi ink drawings by Jason DeAntonis which break up the text with drawings of thoughtful and at times whimsical elements. The illustrations complement the writing. By the way, dear reader, I’m so glad I wrote this Letter for you because I learned a lot, and wanted to include a little bit about the artist.
Jason DeAntonis is an award-winning polymathic Bay Area artist, known for his fine carpentry, custom furniture, and detailed woodwork. He has also worked in sculpture, costume design, glass blowing, painting, printmaking, and book illustration. His work has appeared in Mindfulness in the Garden, and the Mindfulness Essentials series. He lives in Berkeley, California. [Source: Parallax Press site]
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The Mindfulness Essentials series by Thich Nhat Hanh
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